A Human’s Guide to Surviving Magical Mishaps by Kit Bryan

Apparently Marcus' lecture hit a nerve because Ashton immediately orders Fin to go back to the fae realm and to return with help. He says something about two full teams or something but I can't hear as well, they're still standing by my door, but Marcus had raised his voice, they're talking at a more average volume. Fin calls out through the door gently.

"Kat, Lucy? I am going home, but I will be back tomorrow night. I just wanted to... Well... I am sorry Kat..." He trails off. There's a pause like he's giving us a chance to respond, but neither of us answer. I hear his footsteps as he leaves. Lucy lets out a sigh and I don't know if it's due to relief or frustration. I really wish that Fin would pull himself together and sort things out with her. For both of their sakes. I'm worried about her. Huh... Worried. This is the first emotion that has broken through my disconnected self. It doesn't feel as bad as I thought. Maybe because I'm not thinking about me. I'd rather focus on everyone else.

"You've stopped shaking." Lucy notes. I didn't realise but she's right.

"Good. Okay, it's time for you to eat something." She declares getting to her feet. I'm reluctant for her to leave and a sound like a whimper leaves me. The first actual sound I've made since we got home.

"Don't worry, I'm just getting food. I'll get Marcus to come sit with you, I won't let you be alone. Unless you want Ashton to stay with you?" She offers as an afterthought. I don't even think about it, I just shake my head. Ashton comes with too many emotions I don't want to deal with right now. Marcus is safe, I know exactly how I feel about him and I know exactly what to expect from him.

"Marcus is it then. I'll be quick." She promises. Lucy gets up and swings my bedroom door open. Ashton is still standing by the door and Marcus is standing by him, arms crossed over his chest and glaring. The expression looks wrong on him. Marcus is usually cheerful, at least around me he is. But even with angry customers he's usually more charming than angry. Ashton just looks concerned. "She does not want to see me?" He says quietly, his voice breaking a little. Lucy shrugs.

"She isn't ready to see you. Marcus, go sit with her while I get her something to eat. I'll bring her some painkillers too." She directs. Marcus nods. Ashton frowns.

"Is there something that I can do? I want to help." Ashton says earnestly.

"Not right now. I suggest you focus on your own task, capturing those assholes who hurt my friend." She nearly hisses the words. Ashton's shoulders sink.

"I will, but I must wait until Fin returns. I cannot leave her unprotected. I thought that Fin would be enough. I did not anticipate that the fae would care enough about the others to release them." He admits. I flinch and hide my face against the blankets, making another whimpering sound. I don't want to think about them. Ashton stops speaking, he clearly heard me.

"You should go look after her." He tells Marcus with a sigh.

Moments later, the door closes and the bed sinks down as Marcus lies down beside me.

"I've never really seen your bedroom before." Marcus observes. I snort out an unexpected breath, almost a laugh but not quite. He's right, he hasn't spent much time here. Mostly because dad doesn't know what to do with my having a male friend that is ten years older than me. It freaks him out... Freaked him out. I start sobbing again. Marcus wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his lap.

"Aww Kat, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. That was dumb of me... I... I don't know what I'm supposed to say right now." He sighs. I shake my head against his chest. I don't want him to feel bad, it's not his fault. Almost anything he says will make me think of dad. I can't bring myself to explain it, but he seems to get the message that I'm not upset with him. How could I be? My life is falling apart, I've been making things difficult for him by not being at work, and yet every time I've called, he's come running. I clutch him in a tighter hug. He really is a good friend.

"He loved you more than anything. You know that right? I don't know exactly what happened, but if your dad was protecting you then I know he wouldn't regret any of it. It's probably dumb of me to say this right now, but I don't want you to ever think that he would be disappointed or angry with you." Marcus pauses, listening to my breathing for a moment.

"You were his world. I know that he wasn't always around much, I doubt that he knew what to do with a teenage girl, but he adored you above everything. If he didn't love you and you didn't love him, then it wouldn't hurt so much right now. So maybe just remember that the pain is proof of that." Marcus falls silent as I consider his words. He's right. All this hurt is because I loved him, still do love him. Somehow that makes it a little more bearable. I'm still not sure what to do with myself, but Marcus was right. There was a lump of guilt stuck in the back of my throat. I want someone to blame, and it's easiest to blame myself. I can't bring myself to blame Ashton, as much as I want to. Despite everything he has been doing his best. I knew I was risking myself when I agreed to be his guide and I accepted that. Now the worst has happened, it would be unfair of me to change my mind about it now. I'm angry with the assassins obviously. They're complete monsters. But it's hard to be angry with someone who isn't here. So I started to blame myself. Damnit. Caring about people is hard.

Hours later after I choked down the toast and soup that Lucy made me I am supposed to be trying to sleep. Lucy tried to stay up with me but after a while her eyes fell closed and the soft sound of her breathing evened out. Marcus is in the living room sleeping on the couch I think. He didn't mention anything about leaving. I suspect he won't be going anywhere for a while. He seems to have taken it upon himself to be a buffer between myself and the fae. Ashton is... Out in the hall. The connection between us makes it impossible to not know where he is. It's been hours and he hasn't moved from that spot. My chest aches from crying and... Maybe from something else? The feelings of loneliness and anxiety that fill me when Ashton isn't close by have been creeping back in. For a while my grief shoved those feelings aside, there wasn't space in me for them. But as the adrenaline has faded and the feeling of shock has receded, my usual feelings have started to come back. Everything is still overwhelming, but I know that I'm safe now. I know that my friends will take care of me. I also don't think I can cry any more. I just don't have the energy. I don't even know how I'm still awake. Probably because of this damn connection between us. I stare into the darkness for another hour and flinch when my bedroom door cracks open, letting in the slightest bit of light. A dark silhouette that is Ashton cautiously enters the room.