A Human’s Guide to Surviving Magical Mishaps by Kit Bryan

After all the drama Ashton and I went through to find the fae, it's strange that they get captured so quickly. But I guess they are outnumbered and we know what they look like and most of their names now. They're not as anonymous as they were before. The hardest part of searching for them was that we had no idea what we were really looking for. Just 'anything unusual.' Lucy and Marcus deal with the fae guests and I mostly stay in my room. I didn't volunteer to babysit them, and honestly I think they are here to babysit me. They're all friendly and cheerful and overly interested in everything that I do. Whenever I leave my room I can feel their eyes following me around. I can't blame them. Their prince literally dragged them here and told them to keep an eye on this random human girl, of course they're curious. Not to mention after our time together in the fae realm there are definitely some rumours going around. So no, I don't blame them, but I don't feel like putting up with it either. So I continue to hide in my room curled up watching movies on my laptop and cuddling with Bast. I stick to cartoons, movies that aren't serious or too emotional and aren't likely to trigger too many memories. My usual comfort show is a cop show and that is definitely out as an option for now, maybe forever.

Fin is the one to deliver my dinner this time. We're still just ordering takeout because Lucy is too busy keeping an eye on people to cook and Marcus admits that his cooking is limited to instant noodles and fried eggs. Fin gives me some Chinese chicken thing, but I'm surprised that he doesn't leave once handing it over. He stands awkwardly by my bed, shuffling his feet and twitching his wings. I wait for him to say something then realise he isn't going to. Not until I tell him I'm ready to talk. I haven't spoken to anyone since my dad was killed. The last conversation I had was with Fin while he was all hypnotised... And the one before that was also with him when he was trying to help me escape. Somehow that feels like it was weeks ago but it's only been a few days. Fin is still waiting... Am I ready to talk to him? He's been fairly absent the last few days which is weird because we've been in the same house for the most part. But he's been keeping his distance from me. Actually, I think this is the first time we have been alone together since then. I could blame the fact that my friends have been sticking close to me, but the more I think about it I suspect it might have been intentional. Has Fin been avoiding me?

I take a couple of deep breaths to calm myself. "What's wrong Fin?" I ask. My voice is hoarse due to a combination of lack of use and crying. Fin's eyes widen when I respond. I don't think he actually expected me to answer. He hangs his head, staring at his feet.

"I am sorry. So, so sorry. I was supposed to protect you and not only did I fail to keep you safe, I was someone you needed to be protected from. Lucy told me about the bruising. I hurt you. Badly. I would understand if you do not want me to stay here. If you do not trust me anymore I will leave. I can ask Ashton to leave someone else in charge of the guards here. It does not have to be me." He sounds absolutely miserable and incredibly guilty. I'm just confused. Does he really think that any of this was his fault? That I don't feel safe with him anymore. Is that why he's avoiding me? I've been quiet because I haven't been ready to talk, but I didn't realise my silence was hurting others. I should have spoken to him earlier. Then again, maybe it's better that I didn't talk to him right away. It's given me time to think over what happened and process it.

"It was you against four assassins. None of what happened was your fault. You did your best in an impossible situation. I promise I don't blame you and I still trust you." I tell him. My voice is still scratchy and to my own ears a little monotonous. Like my voice and my emotions aren't quite connecting right. But that's okay. At least I was able to tell him something. He looks... Unconvinced. Like he can't quite believe that I mean what I'm saying. I do mean it, or at least I WANT to mean it. Logically I know it's true. There is a tiny bit of me that wants to blame him, wants to blame everyone. But there's an even bigger part that wants to blame myself. I could have said no when Ashton asked me to be his guide. I knew it was dangerous and he gave me several chances to back out. But it never occurred to me that I was risking anyone other than myself. So I didn't. By that logic I'm far more responsible than he is for what happened. But blaming myself isn't right either. Is it my fault that these psycho fae wanted to kill Ambrose? That they decided to hide in the human realm? No. They have to be responsible for their own actions.

Fin reaches out and takes my hand awkwardly then bows over it.

"Thank you for your understanding and trust. And... I am sorry about your father. If I could go back and fix things I would." He says sincerely. I nod, tears filling my eyes again. Fin leaves and I start bawling again. I thought that I was done crying but it seems I'm not. Although this time it feels different. Something loosens in my chest, a little of the guilt falls away. Not all of it, not even close. But realising that Fin was feeling bad forced me to look at my own guilt and process a few more of my feelings. Talking in general is also a bit of a relief. It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. Somehow it seemed like talking was going to break me. That if I tried to interact with anyone or express myself in any way I would just completely fall apart. Sure I'm crying now, but talking didn't make me feel worse, and hopefully it made Fin feel a little bit better which is good enough for now. When Lucy comes back to check on me and collect my dishes a bit later, I launch myself out of the bed and into her arms.

"I love you Lucy. Thank you for being here." I whisper to her.

"Of course I'm here Kat." She answers, also whispering. I clutch her tightly and we both end up crying our eyes out.

The two fae brothers are apparently a little more elusive than the first two fae and when Ashton gets back around nine at night he hasn't made any more progress looking for them. Three of the fae who were with him are gone, apparently he had them escort the criminals straight back to the fae realm to lock them away. He isn't willing to risk them escaping into the human realm again. So the fourteen fae guests are now down to eleven. It's a lot, but a little more manageable. Particularly when they aren't all planning to sleep at once. Still, Marcus heads home and promises to come back in the morning. I'm starting to worry, doesn't he have work? Doesn't Lucy? Did they both take leave? I appreciate it but they both have lives outside of me, they can't both stay here forever. Which is why when Lucy's mum calls to check in on her I tell her she should go home.

"But you need me!" She objects. I shrug.

"You're right I do. But I'm going to sleep. You can go home, sleep in your own bed and come back tomorrow with some of your own clothes and stuff. You came here with no notice. I definitely want you to be here. But I'll survive one night without you." I promise. I'm surprised to find that I mean it. Lucy has been acting as a buffer between me and everyone else, but I don't think I need that anymore. I still want her around, there are a lot of things I'm not prepared to deal with yet. For example I have zero intention of answering my phone. Anyone I would want to face is already here. But I don't need to hide behind her anymore.