A Human’s Guide to Surviving Magical Mishaps by Kit Bryan

With Lucy and Marcus gone, the house is oddly quiet. There is still a bunch of fae here, but they are all noticeably more quiet with Ashton around. Maybe they're intimidated by him? They might be quieter, but their staring is worse. They keep looking between Ashton and I as if they're trying to work out what is going on between us. Like they're looking for signs of affection or a relationship. They aren't getting much of a show. My feelings for Ashton are all mixed up in a combination of guilt, confusion, anger and fear. I DO love him. That hasn't changed. I'm just not sure if that's enough anymore. This connection between us is too much too fast. He's become practically the centre of my world, what most of my time revolves around entirely too quickly. That can't be healthy. I'm afraid I'm going to completely lose myself. Things are already changing and I'm worried that when the dust settles there won't be much of me left. I'll be a completely different person. Unable to bear everyone's curious stares any longer, I retreat to my bedroom.

My room has always been my own little safe haven and that is more true than ever right now. Even if there weren't an army of fae cluttering up the living room, looking around the rest of the house is painful. Everywhere I look there is some sign of my dad. His favourite mug or chair. A receipt that he left on the shelf, the picture of mum that he hung on the wall very badly so it tips to the side a bit. My room doesn't have as much of that. Sure there are still pictures and things, but they're all mine. Dad was always very respectful of my private space so he really never spent much time in here. It's mostly free of memories. I'm hoping that one day all those reminders of dad will be comforting, but right now they just make my heart hurt and my eyes tear up.

"Kat?" Ashton's voice comes from behind me and I jolt in surprise. I knew on some level where he was, I always do. But I'm getting better at ignoring it, plus I thought I closed my door, but apparently I didn't because he's standing in the open doorway looking nervous.

"Fin told me that you spoke to him today. I heard you speaking to Lucy as well. Are you ready to speak to me again as well?" He asks softly. I shrug.

"I guess? It depends what you want to talk about." I answer. If he wants to discuss feelings or our connection or what we're going to do about it all then the answer is no I'm not ready to deal with all of that. But there are a few things I would be willing to talk about. For example, I want to know about his progress with the assassins. Two of them have already been recaptured, including the imp who killed my dad. I thought I would feel more relieved by that than I am but honestly I blame all four of the fae. They're all responsible. The imp might have dealt the killing blow but they're all to blame. If the woman hadn't attacked Fin, I wouldn't have been trapped and my dad wouldn't have sacrificed himself to keep my hiding place a secret. If the other fae hadn't come to the station in the first place we never would have needed to hide in the first place. I also suspect that it was the fae woman who told them to go looking for me in the first place. They might have figured out that Ashton and I are close, but she worked out that I was there and she was also the one who spent the most time listening to the cops gossip. She would have known my dad was the police chief. Regardless of their exact roles, I don't think I'll be comfortable until all the fae are captured and locked away for good where they can't hurt anyone ever again.

"It does not matter. I am content to talk about whatever you like. It is just a relief to hear your voice. I was worried that you would never wish to speak to me again." Ashton confesses and I sigh.

"No, it's not like that." I tell him. I should explain further, but I don't know how to explain why I didn't want to talk other than just that it was too hard. I feel something soft brushing against my ankle and look down to see Bast sticking his head out from under my bed. I'm not really sure how he moves around under there so quietly with his antlers. I would expect them to get in the way but they don't seem to hinder him at all. I lean down to stroke his furry little head then stand back up. When I stand I realise that Ashton has moved closer to me. He's standing right in front of me.

"I am glad. It would hurt me to not be able to hear your voice and speak with you. I enjoy your company too much." He says sweetly, his lovely green eyes staring into mine. I can't help myself, I throw myself into his arms. I want to blame the connection between us, but mostly I just missed him, missed being close to him. Ashton seems bewildered but his arms curl around my waist and he doesn't resist when I pull him down for a kiss, in fact he responds very enthusiastically. I run my hands through his hair, running my fingers lightly over his horns dragging a groan out of him. He pulls me tighter against his chest and for a second everything is right in the world. I don't care that we have some confusing connection and I don't care that we have a million things to figure out. I just want him, and I don't want to feel alone. Ashton walks me backwards and I feel my knees buckle as they hit the edge of my bed. I collapse onto it, half propped up on one elbow, losing my grip on Ashton as I fall. Ashton follows quickly, lying beside me and covering my lips with his own again. I want to relax and enjoy this, but slowly all my doubts and fears are creeping back in. With both hands I push Ashton back, indicating that I want him to stop and he moves away just enough that he isn't touching me except for where my hands are resting on his chest. I close my eyes, breathing deeply and force my hands to pull away from his warmth. When I regain control of my breathing, I open my eyes to face Ashton who is still watching me with a combination of want and confusion on his face.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have done that." I admit. He frowns.

"I disagree, I think you should do that far more often. Why do you think you should not have done that?" He asks. My eyes dart towards the open bedroom door. I can't help but think of all the sharp eared fae in my living room. Ashton gets up and closes the door. I don't think it actually helps all that much, but I appreciate the illusion of privacy at least..

"I... I kissed you because I'm hurting and afraid and I wanted the comfort. I wanted to stop thinking for a while. But I was the one who said that I don't want to do this, to be together this way until we've figured things out between us, and I know I'm not ready to do that either. It was unfair and selfish of me. So I'm sorry." I apologise a second time. Ashton looks perplexed.

"Kat, if it brings you comfort you can do whatever you wish. It is not selfish for you to take what is freely offered. I wish to figure things out with you." He says sincerely. I shake my head.

"I'm not ready to figure anything out right now. I'm not in a state of mind to be making decisions, particularly not about things like this." I explain, my last few words stretching out into a yawn. I can feel exhaustion rushing over me now that my anxiety is settled by having Ashton close. Emotions are exhausting. Ashton nods understandingly.

"Very well. You should try to sleep. I will stay with you and keep you safe." He promises. For a moment I think he's about to climb into bed with me, I'm not sure that's a great idea right now. But he doesn't, instead he drops back down to the patch of carpet he sat on yesterday and makes himself comfortable. I feel bad, but I'm so tired and he seems content enough to sit there. So I do as he suggested and it doesn't take long at all for me to fall fast asleep.