Robbery In Progress

*Emma*

Had I been avoiding Kelsey since the case ended? Sort of.

I mean, not really because here I was, in a bar I knew she could turn up in--and she did.

But also I had her number, I know where she lives, I know where she works, and yet I did not attempt to contact her in any of those capacities for two days. Was I being a coward? Maybe a bit.

It's just a little terrifying telling someone you love them when you *know* they are mad at you. Granted, she is mad at me because she thinks I don't love her which is a conundrum. I mean, is my saying it just going to flip a switch and she'll stop being mad?

I'm going to go ahead and put a mark in the unlikely category for that one. Doing this in a public place with witness makes it even more stressful if she just shrugs me off, but I need to stop running. We decided that was exhausting, remember? *Get it together, Em,* I thought to myself.

Kelsey seemed to be shell shocked by my presence, which was fine by me because I got to get a good look at her while she formed a response. She looked good, tired maybe a bit worn down, but still amazing. Her chestnut brown hair had been pulled up into a messy bun, but a few maverick strands framed her face. Her usually bright green eyes were duller today. Last time I saw that look in her eyes we were talking about the people we had lost.

So basically, that didn't bode well for me.

She still hadn't said anything so I took a small step forward and with a pleading look in my eyes I added, "please. Just for a few minutes."

That shook her out of her trance and she stepped back. "Don't you think I've given you enough minutes?"

"I really hope not because I'm not ready to stop." I didn't want to just blurt it out, I didn't want to make it seem like I was saying it just to get her to stay because that wasn't the whole picture. But angry people have pretty limited views of encounters so I should have known that anything I said to her wasn't going to be perceived correctly.

"Well, good thing this isn't all about you, then." She started to pull on her coat so I rested my hand on it to stop her.

"Good thing this isn't all about you, then, either. Please just hear me out."

Jerking her coat out of my hand her reply was instant, "tell me again how long ago I told you I was falling in love with you? How many days we spent together since then where you could have changed your mind, said it back, or even acted like it? You've made yourself clear, Emma. And it's fine. Really, it's fine. I didn't want a relationship anyway. I like being on my own so don't feel like you have to come here and make me feel better. Your conscience is clear." "You've got it all wrong, Kelsey. Let me explain."

Her coat was on now but she didn't walk out the door yet, so that's something. "Okay, I've got some questions, then. Did you blow me off when I told you I loved you?"

Well now, this was just unfair. "...Yes, but--"

"Did you, at any point, attempt to apologize for that?" Now she was zipping up the jacket. "Well not--"

"Okay, then. I can't stick around and wait for you to decide that you feel the same way. It's not healthy and it would be unfair of you to ask me to do that. Just let me go, Emma." With that, she started for the door and I got a bit desperate.

"Do you mind if I just?" I asked the bartender as I started to climb on the barstop. I barely registered her response where she told me she did in fact mind but that did not phase me because I had a specific task to enact. Hoping to catch her attention before she reached the door I cupped my hands around my mouth and shouted, "could I have everyone's attention please? It'll only take a minute but I have some things I'd like to say to someone and I don't want her to think I'm saying any of it just to say it. So, if you don't mind paying attention in order to maximize the potential embarrassment factor, I would appreciate it."

That got her attention, she was at the door but she turned my way, waiting. Everyone else was quiet so I continued, "right. Thanks everyone. In all honesty, I didn't really think it would come to this so just bear with me. You're right, I did blow you off when you first told me you loved me. And that was pretty shitty of me. I just did it because I was scared. Not of your love really, no. I was scared because I loved you back. I didn't want to admit it to you, or myself, or anyone really, because admitting it meant that you could hurt me."

I put my hand up when she opened her mouth to respond, "you could hurt me by getting hurt. You nailed it on the head that day, I've lost so many people I didn't want to risk setting myself up for that again. And by the time I had come to terms with that we were," I pinched my fingers together, "this close to solving our case. Lives were on the line and I had decided that I would rather finish the case and then talk to you, than have a life altering conversation with you while who knew what was happening to our victim.

"I realize now that waiting made it seem like I didn't feel the same way. Like I was trying to close up the case and move on. And my disappearing act the last few days probably cemented that for you. I was waiting for the right moment, for the right mood, the right place, etc. But looking back, I was really just afraid that I had missed my shot. So I kept putting it off. And you deserve better, so if that's how you feel about it I'll respect it. But I can't let you walk out that door without all the information.

"You don't have to wait for me to feel the same way, because I'm already there. I love you, Kelsey."

The whole bar fell silent again when I finished my speech. Everyone turned from me to look at Kelsey, Kelsey in turn looked at everyone else, then back at me.

"Is this your rendition of shouting it from the rooftops?"

Unsure how to interpret that question, I did an awkward shrug as if to say "yeah, kind of."

She nodded and gestured up, "you missed by a few levels."

"I didn't think you'd be able to hear me from there." I climbed off the bar, which received a mumbled "finally" from the bartender, and started towards her, "I could get a sign or something though. If that would clear things up."

Her hand fell off the door knob and she crossed her arms as I stopped in front of her. "Say it again," she said.

"I love you." Happy to oblige, I took a risk and slid my hand onto her hip.

I could see the moment I finally cracked through her walls, her arms uncrossed so she could reach for me as she said, "I love you, too."

The bar erupted with noise when our lips crashed together but I wasn't paying attention to them anymore. My sole focus was on Kelsey, who was finally back in my arms. Tension from my whole body finally released as I leaned into her, tugged her closer, and smiled against her.

"That was probably the most terrifying thing I've ever done. It was definitely worth it, though."

She laughed and God did I love that laugh, "Lexie is probably going to ban you now for standing on her bartop." "Lexie?"

"The bartender. We were roommates in college."

I chuckled at that, "I suspected you two knew each other that first night. Speaking of, can we go back to your place and have a do over? I promise not to run out while you're showering this time."

"You better not," she warned even as she laughed and pulled me out of the bar.